The Win You Never Saw Coming
How Simple Acts of Kindness Help Us Grow

Last night, I watched a remarkable On the Road story by Steve Hartman about a group of students who noticed something most of us have seen but seldom pause to consider: someone eating alone.   

That's why Denis Estimon, a Haitian immigrant and student at Boca High, started a club called "We Dine Together.Their response was beautifully simple. Whenever they saw a student sitting by themselves, they walked over and joined them.

There was no fundraising campaign, elaborate strategy, or promise of recognition. They simply saw a need and acted. Yet that small gesture carried tremendous power. It reminded someone that they mattered—and it challenged the students offering the invitation to step beyond their own comfort zones.

Earlier, I had been reflecting on something James Clear wrote about the relationship between winning and growing. Winning feels good, particularly when we accomplish something for the first time. But repeated success can eventually become familiar. We may continue winning without necessarily growing.

Growth asks something more of us. Sometimes it asks us to pause, look beyond ourselves, and take a seat beside someone we do not know.

Growth begins when we notice. We live in a hurried world, often moving from one responsibility to the next with our attention fixed on what lies ahead. Yet opportunities to make a difference rarely arrive with flashing lights. They appear quietly—a person sitting alone, a colleague having a difficult day, or someone who simply needs to know they have been seen.

Awareness interrupts our routine. It asks us to look up from our own lives long enough to recognize what may be happening in someone else’s.

Growth requires stepping beyond comfort. My granddaughter, a psychology major at Liberty University, reminds me that introverts and extroverts each bring unique qualities to the world. Reaching out may come naturally to some and require tremendous courage from others.

The point is not that we must all respond in the same way. Growth happens when we stretch beyond what is comfortable for us. Walking across a room, beginning a conversation, or sitting beside a stranger may seem insignificant, but it can represent an enormous personal step.

In meeting another person’s need, we often discover a strength within ourselves that we did not know was there.

Growth depends upon timing. I frequently speak about timing as an essential part of making a difference. Kindness delayed can become kindness denied. The opportunity is often present for only a moment, and if we overthink it, the door may close.

Yes, stopping may interrupt our schedule. It may delay our plans or pull us away from the mission we considered most important. But perhaps the interruption is the mission.

When we act in the moment, everyone can win. Someone feels less alone, a need is met, and we learn something about compassion, courage, and ourselves.

Most of us want to be winners. But the victories that shape us most deeply may never come with trophies, applause, or recognition. They arrive when we pause, notice, and choose to act.

The next time you see someone sitting alone, struggling quietly, or needing encouragement, do not underestimate what one simple gesture might accomplish. You may brighten another person’s day—but you may also discover that the life being changed is your own.

Colorful Takeaway: 

Sometimes the greatest win is not reaching the head of the table. It is noticing the empty chair beside someone—and choosing to fill it.